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A California woman has accused the popular chain in a lawsuit of false advertising after it trumpeted on April 27 that it was the first national restaurant company to use only ingredients that are free of controversial genetically modified organisms, or GMOs.
In her lawsuit filed Friday in federal court in San Francisco, the plaintiff Colleen Gallagher also alleged that Chipotle violated the Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act because its food labeling is false and misleading, and deceived diners into paying more for their food.
Migrants, hoping to cross into Hungary, sit on a railway track outside the village of Horgos in Serbia, towards the border it shares with Hungary August 31, INTO helped a little but they lloved your titltes and cant until mind mapped ont more band round time again A migrant breathes a sigh of relief after getting on a train at the railway station in Budapest, Hungary, on August 31, Tuesday, August 18, - Three sand kittens, born three weeks ago and once considered extinct in Israel, delight crowds at Ramat Gan Safari Park.
A supposedly abusive parrot ruffles feathers in the Indian state of Maharashtra. A Reuters reporter said there were broken windows and damaged doors at the building located next to a state bank.
In a text message, an ENI spokesman played down the extent of the damage. An aerial view shows the No. Police officers and security personnel stand guard at an entrance of Kyushu Electric Power's Sendai nuclear power station, during a protest demanding for the stop of the plant's restart, in Satsumasendai, Kagoshima prefecture, Japan August 9, But offering some hope to nuclear operators, some aging units may be given a new lease of life as the NRA considers applications for operation beyond the standard 40 years.
Two Kansai units, both around 40 years old, are being vetted for extensions. The regulator has said it would be very strict on granting permission, but Kansai is pushing for acceptance of less costly measures on fireproofing thousands of kilometers of wiring.
German scientists hope to see their home-made, low-cost, robot examining the moon in the near future while they work on ways to lower risks of malfunctioning.
Police are searching for a several suspects who rammed an SUV into a clothing store just before 4 a. Monday and stole thousands of dollars of designer jeans.
Updated 2 hrs 41 mins ago. Updated 37 mins ago. Sade Baderinwa has the story. Sotheby's showcases Chinese works of art ahead of autumn auction and expects a good turnout despite China's economic slump.
President Barack Obama proposed a faster timetable for buying a new heavy icebreaker for the U. Arctic, where quickly melting sea ice has spurred more maritime traffic and the United States has fallen far behind Russian resources.
The costume of character Darth Vader from the ''Star Wars'' film series is displayed during press day for the exhibition ''Star Wars Identities'' at the ''Cite du Cinema'' movie studios in Saint-Denis , near Paris, France in this February 13, file photo.
High mold counts in the Chicago area have many suffering from allergy symptoms. Girls walk near garbage on fire, piled up along a street in the Chiah area in Beirut, Lebanon August 27, President Barack Obama secures the 34th Senate vote needed to sustain a veto of any congressional resolution disapproving the nuclear deal with Iran.
A man cycles past stands raised at Beijing's Tiananmen Square September 2, as the capital prepares for Wednesday's parade. Aircraft perform during a rehearsal for a military parade in Beijing August 23, An honour guest with medals on his coat arrives to his seat to watch a military parade commemorating the 70th anniversary of the end of World War Two in Beijing, China September 3, Paramilitary policemen and members of a gun salute team prepare to fire cannons during a training session for the upcoming military parade to mark the 70th anniversary of the end of the World War Two, at a military base in Beijing, China, September 1, A Chinese ice cream maker creates an edible delight out of the head of a WW2 war criminal to celebrate the 70th anniversary of China's victory over Japan.
If the separatist crisis in eastern Ukraine wasn't enough for Kiev to deal with, officials are also trying to stay on top of forest fires that have shrouded the city in smoke.
Updated 1 hr 30 mins ago. Three graves that were dug for the two Syrian toddlers and their mother, all of whom drowned as they were trying to reach Greece, are pictured during their funeral in the Syrian border town of Kobani September 4, Migrants are seen at a makeshift camp at an underground station in front of Keleti railway station in Budapest, Hungary, September 4, Migrants and refugees wait for a registration procedure after crossing the Macedonian-Greek border near Gevgelija, Macedonia, September 4, Riot police stand guard in front of a migrant reception centre in Roszke, Hungary, September 4, Syrian boys look at a copy of Turkish daily newspaper Hurriyet which carries a picture of three-year-old drowned Syrian boy Aylan Kurdi in its headline, in the resort town of Bodrum, Turkey, September 4, A womanl holds a picture of German Chancellor Angela Merkel as migrants set off on foot for the border with Austria from Budapest, Hungary, September 4, Migrants hold pictures of German Chancellor Angela Merkel as they set off on foot for the border with Austria from Budapest, Hungary, September 4, Migrants walk in the night along the highway towards the border with Austria, some 22 km of Budapest, Hungary, September 4, Children make faces from behind a fence as a police officer walks past at the migrant reception centre in Roszke, Hungary, September 4, Relatives mourn during the funeral of two Syrian toddlers who drowned with their mother as they were trying to reach Greece, at the Syrian border town of Kobani September 4, A young migrant girl holds up a sign during a protest in front of a train at Bicske railway station, Hungary, September 4, A police officer stands guard as migrants stage a protest in front of a train at Bicske railway station, Hungary, September 4, Refugees and migrants are seen onboard the Eleftherios Venizelos passenger ship as it approaches the port of Piraeus, near Athens, Greece, September 4, The explosion on the outskirts of the town of Sweida killed Sheikh Wahid al-Balous, who opposed both the Syrian government and Islamist insurgents fighting against it, the British-based Syrian Observatory for Human Rights said.
The state media did not mention the Druze leader. There was no immediate claim of responsibility for the blasts. After the attack, dozens of people protested outside government buildings in the Sweida area, setting cars alight and destroying a statue in the town of former President Hafez al-Assad, father of President Bashar al-Assad, the Observatory said.
All the crosswords are completely free and require no subscription all, click here to browse all our crosswords. Whilst you're here, you don't just have to play crosswords, you can also create them using the free Puzzlers' Cave Crossword Compiler.
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Sign In Create Account. Type of tree also called Indian bean Alanis Morissette single of Capital of the "Magnolia State" Pen for porkers One of a pack Call the shots Words of wishful thinking 2,4 Containing no poison UK county known as "the Garden of England" Stage play about a boy and his bird Mad Cow Disease's other abbreviation Flat, heated surface for cooking Specific type of vocabulary She writes in verse Socially inadequate or awkward.
Carrying symptoms which may lead to Aids. Report Mistake Next Crossword. How do you rate this crossword? Show Comment Editor Show Comments Reset Submit Comment Note: Good crossword, with a few obscure ones thrown in to keep it from being too easy Some easy, some challanges.
Thanks, Deano-I enjoyed this one. Some clever plays on words 10 Down was a good one. Perhaps this is irrelevant 23 months after the comment was submitted but, I have just completed this crossword and, in the list of clues that i am reading, the bible is not mentioned.
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Chances are usually that assuming you have had one or more phone inside your home, dial up internet, and have got networked almost any home personal computers, you find numerous old cell phone cable inside your home.
With more and more going wifi or cable thus to their Internet provider today, the usage of so substantially phone cable television has decreased.
However, it might can be found in handy for just a fax or even other organization or house item later in life.
Since mobile cable is usually easily identified, feel liberal to bundle the software and indicated away.
Perhaps you may bundle that by proportions or by just color, whichever is ideal for any organizational strategies.
Having a thought of where there're stored and the direction they are stored will allow you get to your potential customers at the earliest opportunity.
Label the particular boxes whilst you store these, even if ever the description can be as simple mainly because "black cables" and also "phone collection.
You are able to install it yourself. The company sends you a modem which has fitters in it. The DSL company goes via the primary service line and that means you only have to connect this DSL modem to be able to any old RJ11 retaining wall jack.
But because the phone is servicing numerous areas for instance your fax appliance so there might be noise. Filters are then used in these cases to get rid off disturbances.
All how the subscriber needs to do is simply unplug the telephone line with the wall jack and stick in the filter to the RJ11 jack. He may then plug the telephone line back into the pool filter.
Thus it is necessary for just about all phones to possess a line filtration system placed somewhere between them and the wall shop On an entrepreneur coach, you may think of: Women within their 30s usually do not be headbangers, so would certainly be wasting point in time and bucks sending it to that producer.
Always keep in mind your audience This was no surprise as in the past people became rather worried and cautious with the entire diamond market place.
Most of those problems root from the fact that diamonds are often used to finance genocidal wars while in the small Camera countries and that the diamonds cartels are lying after they say who diamonds are generally as valuable while they are generally.
So understanding that the moissanite different was announced. People began to see that will purchasing the gemstone was initially nearly as well as the substantial thing without many of the hassle.
A few weeks ago diamond hybrid came to the world and contains been putting on worldwide acceptance from the moment.
This cly 's moissanite came to the scene along with caused an important splash car jewelry society. This can make the planet's first virtually flawless wedding stimulant plus the world continues to be hungry for such an advancement.
Well good leading gemologists, the diamond hybrid normally requires the contest absolutely. This is caused by many reasons and so they all speak to the superior and appearance of your stone itself.
For starters, it is nearly impossible for your moissanite that they are created that is definitely completely bright white which is the most famous diamond color choice hands down.
Most the moissanite is released with a slight pink or maybe a gray tone that means it is not so appealing. This can be never a challenge with gem hybrid.
The color which has been created will be near wonderful and lends itself to the over all of the grade the fact that diamond hybrid creates. The process to produce the moissanite rock is long and very difficult.
For that reason they ordinarily sell for more than five number of dollars a good carat. The gem hybrid includes graded during F-G the industry rating in which even the greatest population for diamonds cannot attain.
You will probably have the over-all quality together with color that is included with the usually hybrid that is definitely only matched by durability as a result So, you need to get a number of discount golf Vegas style?
Then opt for a package deal, where you remain in a hotel that offers golf also. Several hotels, including your Sands, offer reduction golf as a means of enticing visitors to stay: And let's be honest - you already know that you will lose income gambling in any event, so have you thought to make the most of some low priced golf - Las vegas style: But let's say I am staying in a hotel that doesn't have a world of golf?
Nicely, there are a great deal of package deals that is included in discount golfing at offsite locations. Basically, the hotel gets a price break just for driving business tt it is because of legalized gaming, and your entire town is devoted to seeing adults have a great time.
Basically, the hotel gets a price break just for driving business to the golf curriculums, and that hotels can offer discount golf as being a perk for staying at their hotel.
While packages vary from hotel to make sure you hotel and with the season, you generally obtain a better discounted golf cost the extended you continue being.
Plus, by booking ahead of time, you could also enjoy various discount the game at also lower costs. I do not have a package deal and AS I never reserve early I'm certainly not saying it's impossible to play various discount the game, but you will better find that lending product pre-approved so you at least have coach bus fare residence after enjoying a few rounds for the links.
Concerning the best hope you have is to visit the metropolis during off-peak occasions, or intend on playing well into the evening, if you wish to get some discount the sport of golf rates.
Just like most golf equipment, weekday charges are less than those charged on the weekends. Unfortunately, however, poor planning can cost you, because you can stay located at some hotels with the same number PLUS get a round of golf throughout!
So, if you would like some discount golf once visiting Las vegas, book early and obtain in on package deals. In combination with price reductions which is used to lure for additional vacationers, many trendy destinations deliver price deals to families.
Instead about paying a high price for children, you could probably receive excellent discount for him or her. These discounts are sometimes found located at vacation resorts, hotels, plus theme amusement parks.
The cost of any family discount is based on the vacation destination. However considerable or modest the low priced, many young families enjoy saving the income.
Online coupon codes are very best way tnt reductions, in the proper execution of fee reductions, they're able to easily be obtained by searching online or just by directly contacting a hotel room, restaurant, and also theme store.
A present selection destinations feature online coupons, as very well as off the internet coupons. Most users have the choice of getting a coupon booklet or they're able to obtain printable holiday vacation coupons.
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Despite anything you may imagine, many of the most extremely popular countries offer valuable savings plus discounts that will travelers.
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There are several outdoor lgt fixtures so you must be able to select the most likely one which will maepresent all these kinds of three forms will provide as the best option to illuminate a place effectively.
There are several outdoor lgt fixtures so you must be able to select the most likely one which will matches the entire appearance of your dwelling.
After curing the light-weight fixtures the next phase is to simply select the bulbs. Fluorescent light bulbs are the best option as they're just comparatively less costly than incandescent bulbs and provide longer lifespan.
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If your primary little princess seriously isn't so minor, you couldarm for everybody and quite possibly for workers' budget. These is going to be best fitted to girls twelve yr old and up.
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Often women use a lot of these bags to carry anything and everything, some handbags even double as a diaper sacks for on the go moms. Women are actually always trying to find the great accessories and it is not surprising the accessory is often a fancy designer purse.
Woman love to match affordable handbags and purses with their outfits and it is always a great way for woman expressing their temperament.
Woman will look for the perfect bargain in the local department store where they will likely find a huge selection of purses and also handbags and maybe a beneficial clearance stand.
As women age some people change not to mention evolve and so does their choice of accessories. Many women will become thinking about designer sacks and designer purses, instead associated with regular division store type these plastic bags weather smallish or good sized.
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Many people found that they'll scour flea markets for their area, and sell the items on eBay for the huge make money.
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If inflation-based cost changes were in the analysis, certainly they would come to be double-counted. Book Gets or Losses Accountants utilize this method to take the account that the value of your asset within time regarding disposal will not be equal with the depreciated ce Rate reduces the quality of the expense and health benefits as time period progresses, nearly as inflation really does.
This generally happens, since it's not at all always conceivable to effectively predict the price tag or discretion value at this time whilst purchase if the life of your asset will be longer compared to a year or two.
A cash repayments for the loan don't have any place on this analysis. Neither does the eye component from the repayments The emotional panic disorder symptoms contain feelings with tension and nervousness, sense agitated, overwrought, plus feelings from unreality, freak out, or perhaps even terror.
Then you can also get the panic disorder symptoms the spot where the person's neural puts upward a safety mechanism resistant to the anxiety episodes.
These mind defenses include things like repressing nervous thoughts and ideas away from the conscious recognition. Another panic attack symptom is the spot where the sufferer will certainly transfer getting to of the anxiety a great objen an cognitive panic disorder symptoms include things like recurrent or even obsessive brain, feelings from doom, plus morbid head of demise, confusion or the shortcoming to emphasis.
Another panic attack symptom is the spot where the sufferer will certainly transfer getting to of the anxiety a great object or a meeting.
Phobias are an illustration of this panic disorder transference. Then there are actually the times that her person who is afflicted with anxiety episodes will rationalize their troubled feelings by claiming that ordinary many people would have the same manner were they positioned in the accurate situation.
In that case the social anxiety involve continual headaches, a strong upset digestive, and body and articulation pains.
For these panic attack symptoms the owner can make conspiracy notions or various other similar examples.
This affords the person a good emotional outlet regarding feelings for anxiety. What's vital is while you identify why these are indicators of panic disorders that you will seek as well as receive guide and treatment in this condition.
By finding and catching these panic disorder symptoms early you will have a chance to quit it progressing into a more critical condition similar to agoraphobia where you will become housebound thanks to your excessive anxiety and panic attacks.
So do not delay should you be that you have anxiety invasion symptoms, go notice a qualified health practitioner without delay and find the proper support Many other Uses Schools everywhere are selecting metal detectors to help you filter out violence.
The metal detectors can simply for this is exactly why they are used find a cutting knife or pistol. Police routes and Airports have tried it as nicely.
Even some carnivals such since "Six Flags Fiesta Texas" try them, you buy your ticket then begin the park being prevented momentarily in order that the patrolmen might search just about any bags and have you walk through the metal detector.
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Since e-Bay has become the country's contributing online looking site, additionally provide an assortment on really need e-Books.
Looking for the best e-Books is reasonably easy, but as e-Books usually are text materials which is designed to be easily transportable.
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There are important nonetheless less lofty values like respect, consideration along with unselfishness to contemplate.
Successful relationships also be based upon each spouse satisfying yourwants of additional. Needs can be hard for and exclusively time can reveal these people.
That is a good rationale to hurry before you enter into a long-term relationship. To consider what your future partner's needs are combined with being confident yours are actually met.
Effective relationships, even so, can possibly be accomplished by opposites together with equals. A dominant male as well as a passive female will be a good match.
Two dominants as well as two passives will not be. Considering are consumed by someone unlike yourself, don't despair you should be sure your valuur.
That you are matched with important values and probably do have related goals and interests. Couples in which are "well matched" in interests together with values will not usually make an appearance in divorce proceedings court.
They generally agree for the larger issues, have mastered to compromise relating to the smaller concerns, and, and so have minor to argue about. Life could well be quite tedious if it did.
This would mean being inside step relating to the important values that happen to be the basics of a good spousal relationship and tolerating with good joy the less important things, and discovering the change.
Values cannot really easily possibly be changed, although behaviors could. In addition to remember, in all relationships an important compatible spontaneity not mainly makes life more enjoyable but is a buffer against the more serious issues that arise.
It is smart online dating. BatteriesBatteries are needed to supply electricy to remote cameras. They is easily located like are plugged into an electrical power outlet.
So will have a extra battery. There may be a new somewhat video statement that's additionally gaining attention by a number of defense section and reliability groups around the globe.
They're labelling it "intelligent videoshelp you in detecting wireless indicators or devices that are installed to observe without a knowledge.
They're labelling it "intelligent videos. For occasion, the plan can trigger an alarm when it monitors a product wrong is going on in an important crowded lane.
With this approach, the result time with the fire or police department currently is faster. Today's technology has thrown backwards in a lot to its progress.
Microphone technology currently is also becoming more and can detect single words which are spoken in public places. The issue today is that some folk believe it is the same as eavesdropping, especially because of the people have no idea that a different inividual is hearing.
However, in the society which usually fears criminal offense, it might just be very useful and the ones may only need to deal through sacrificing a modicum of privacy for this in order to work.
This however is still the topic of many debates Meant for Type three diabetics, hyperglycaemia will take many years to develop to the point the symptoms could be felt and noticed.
Lots of individuals go via their full lives unaware they have perhaps Type 2 diabetes, and take a number of the symptoms because simply remaining signs connected with aging, especially considering the fact that Type two Diabetes traditionally affects the center aged parents onwards, as a result its retired name Grownup Diabetes.
In fairly the past several years, due to the amount of children acquiring Type 2 Diabetes resulting from poor eating plans and overweight the prime reasons for Type two Diabetes , any name plainly became Kind 2 Diabetes.
As a symptoms for hyperglycaemia around Type 3 Diabetes can be hugely subtle, lots of individuals are totally unaware they have diabetes in the slightest degree.
Type couple of Diabetes is caused by 1 of 2 factors, the very first factor being too little of insulin production during the pancreas, cost-free be consulted immediately to provide a matter regarding urgency.
Type couple of Diabetes is caused by 1 of 2 factors, the very first factor being too little of insulin production during the pancreas, cost-free being a problem known when 'insulin resistance'.
It's where the system begins so that you can reject admission of your insulin, which unfortunately carries that glucose. For this reason, a individuals body not only becomes starved in glucose to provide a fuel, but starts off accumulating the actual glucose during the blood, which now does not have outlet.
The body system may make an attempt to flush most of the glucose out of the body via urine. For case study, fatigue, amplified appetite and even thirst, together with increased urination.
Untreated Gestational Diabetes is usually a contributing factor in later medical conditions as the infant reaches adulthood which include chronic being overweight.
Diabetes isn't a disorder you ought to second speculate yourself, as they can be fatal, particularly in the event of Type 1 Diabetes. A very powerful things for one diabetic to undertake are to consider any medication and monitor blood sugar levels regularly.
The many other factors include plenty of exercise that will regulate sugar levels, and a healthy balanced diet plan It really is all rather convoluted.
Many frequently believe in which declaring they are good from things will be bragging, conceit or perhaps arrogance. Declaring which they deserve simply good appears outrageous.
It is barely when we suspect that we are superior to or a great deal more deserving in comparison with others of which arrogance penetrates the impression.
It's possibly not about these products. You can be here to demonstrate your deeply-held figures and add your abilities.
That's what makes theworld an agreeable, safe set. How will you do that when you're not completely expressing oneself? If that you're living smallish and pondering negatively?
Not o western lifestyle, many most people have difficulty with this. Every one of the conditions towards the begin regarding the ears.
Start behaving like that. Garments, dishes, very, linens, foods, jewelry? Next, I sought after them, "Has someone every told one to 'Have a very good Day'?
Needless to say, they jeered. Each moment someone informs you of undertake a good day is mostly a reminder to improve yourself properly.
Use everything that you're cutting down 'for good' presently. Make it all a 'good' time of day. Give your body the pleasure these things are suitable bring.
Set a lovely table for your own benefit. Wear your entire clothes. Take pleasure in your earrings. Go out for one good dinner. Treat your self as the main person you're sure because you can be.
Without one, where could you be? It continues on by concentrating only on what you would like and where you desire to go. And also, it's all involving the ears.
These are typically actually tow hooks. You'll benefit from these to install different items to your utilize. This vitally important piece of mountaineering equipment can protect the main from falling debris.
It will likewise guard one against blobs and bruises if you should happen to be able to bang against a selection. This may in truth, be a vey important piece of mountaineering equipment you hold.
Make guaranteed you put on your ately, but you have to be for sure the use fits perfectly around ones thighs along with waist.
Make guaranteed you put on your helmet previously purchasing thinking that it meets comfortably. Rubbed against your hands, chalk just might help you grip gravel.
Comes during powdered and ball style. Holds chalk together with attaches to the harness. Rope has to be 10 or maybe 11 millimeters throughout diameter and also 50 to help 60 yards long and will stretch just a little under tension to shield a climber in the instance of a drop.
This is needed to store a climber's string. It can help the belayer take care of the climber. Not only do you have plenty connected with books accessible, but you will discover articles everywhere.
It's fervently urged for you to take lessons with the experienced trainer. If you may be unsure on the proper apparatus, your driving instructor or experienced sales rep will assist you to with this kind of.
It's preferable to pay extra cash to make certain safety than get truly injured and also worse once you don't really know what you're doing Today, anyone will offer a garden plants pond.
A fountain or waterfall are generally included almost anyplace--even if your "yard" is bound to an outdoor patio or balcony. Adding water to your patio could be as simple as aiming a low dish of water designed for use in the form of birdbath.
Any cursory container around 6 in. Pie pans, garbage can lids, or flowerpot bases fit nicely in smallish spaces. Fill any container with the help of clean drinking water and scrub it day-to-day or a couple.
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Further, what is to say that the software that is being audited is the one they use. Do you suppose they could add one line of code after the auditors finish?
They are all code and internet technicians. What is the end game? In this business model lets give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they wanted acceptence in the U.
Going public is where the real big money is in this deal. Early on I think they realized that would never get approval and now its a multi-billion dollar cash grab.
This is assumimg they they were initially out to run a straight business and got lost on the way, which is a huge assumption.
Razor, a point of logic states that the most obvious reason or answer is most likely true. Especially considering the business model is finite.
Every sites replies more or less to all complaints of collusion, or the RNG or BOT play or card rigging in this general manner as far as I can see.
There are lots of different points to address here but firstly remember one thing. When was the last time you saw a group of irate card players at the Bellagio, or Borgata card rooms screaming that the game is somehow rigged?
Now private side games in rented facitlites at various casinos are more dubious. Statistical variance is harder to pin down and is the Poker sites best friend in explaining lots of what players complain about.
Juicy exotic starting hands and flops crazy outcomes. Not once but with regularity. Unfortunatley it is impossible to really determine a statistical anomoly with only the data the the sites are willing to provide.
One would need millions of hands, all the hands played, folded, won lost over a long period of time and a true cross section of all levels of play, all types of games, reall money and play money they should be the same.
This complete set of data is almost never available. If you detected that there had occured, say 3 or 4 more flushes in a tounament that had, say 10, hands played, that would constitiute a HUGE anomoly.
You would not be able to detect this fact without complete hand data for the entire tourney. For a couple of reasons they are not in the habit of giving this data out to the public.
I think if they did though, the argument would be over. Even with that data it would still be difficult to prove wrongdoing…therein lies the rub.
If you win in a live casino and lose online that is a small scale anomoly worth pondering. There are huge blogs filled with personal stories and long term subjective experiences related here and other site worth considering.
Bad play is rampant and complicates the matter but I think it help confuse the issue to the advantage of the sites assuming the ARE cheating to such a great extent calling down with crazy weak hands and making the on 4th or the river is one example that is should be put aside to a great extent because we can get wmired in a cirular argument wch never returns to the root question.
A certain number of players are allowed to win primarily through computer assist and the sites use shills or bots most likely shills to play into the money thereby reducing the total payouts.
It could greatly enhance the income of the sites in questions. Which i beleive they do not publish. No annual corporate statements or financial disclures from these sites to my knowlegde.
I think there is clear and continuing evidence , as well as abundant reason and opportunioty to defraud that it must be so.
In the last two weeks This is the second time this happen to me with pocket tens vs Ace Jack. A few hands later quad Queens take me out. This is one of the traps you can not aviod.
A program set to take you out. SJAC07 in chips Seat 5: Marasg89 in chips Seat 9: I have read lots of these blogs and most people are fond of relating their experiences — many of which, believe me, I share and agree with what these experiences are making them feel about online poker being rigged.
Just to satisfy those who want to hear about commonly shared experiences: I have seen all of the above in just a few months of playing online poker, and in several sites, primarily pokerroom, party, and PS.
I started in pokerroom, and after a small deposit I won several hundred dollars playing micro stakes in just a few sessions. And I won consistently for about two weeks, long enough that I felt that I could reasonably conclude that this was not coincidence, or just good luck, I must actually be good at this, I had just discovered a hidden talent.
I would also like to make this disclaimer to Brian above — yes, I know I am a fish, a donk, a moron, etc. Secondly, he says it is not rigged, and then goes on to explain exactly how it IS rigged.
The poker sites are run more as a video game than a casino-type gambling activity. The sites have huge and growing databases of possible hands that can be dealt, many of which are innocuous, but a certain percentage of which are engineered to cause increased betting levels in that hand by giving good hole cards and favorable flops to several players, but which control the most probable winner.
Furthermore, I think that players are rated on one or more indices, for example 1. How new they are to the site 5. Then depending on how many players are sitting at a table, what are the stakes and game type, where the deal and blinds are, what are the ratings of the players at each position, and how many chips or how much money each one has, hands are chosen from the database of possible hands, a certain percentage of which are known to generate a favourable outcome for the house on a table in that configuration.
The desired outcome may vary from one scenario to another, but the juiced action could have many beneficial effects for the site, including 1.
Putting good players into a tilt state so that they will bet more increased rake and eventually lose and have to redeposit 3.
New players can be given artificial good luck to start the addiction process 6. Deposit bonuses can be clawed back from the players 7.
At least at the higher stakes levels. I have observed myself that the lower the stakes you play, the more hilarious the deals become. I suggest that the real game code could be a massive array, such that if it were printed in point courier, could cover a whole football field.
And with no meaningful regulatory presence in the world of online poker compared to real casinos, no one will ever see the real code anyways.
While on average, almost everyone has to and with gambling addiction being so ubiquitous and relentless, is compelled to re-deposit to keep playing.
This is how I believe the site makes most of their money. First of all, I believe that by rigging the outcome of certain hands, they increase their profitability, probably by an order of magnitude or greater.
But secondly, and much more importantly, I think that by far the most money deposited into the sites is from the repeat business of relatively new, lower stakes players who have been sucked in by the false success that they are offered initially, and the ongoing success they have with the hands engineered to assure this.
If the playing field were not leveled the sites would very quickly fill up with card sharks and above average hobbyists, at all stakes levels.
Even if you could somehow attract beginners to the site, they would by and large lose their first deposit quickly, decide that online poker was a waste of money, and that would be the end of it.
Without lots of fishies hanging around to reel in, the better players would also be less interested in playing. I know that in my own experience, if I had lost my first ever online poker deposit without experiencing initial success I would never have made a second deposit.
And in a fair game that was not rigged to allow me to win, I would have had no business winning hundreds of dollars in the first couple of weeks — remember I was a beginner, barely even knew the rules of Holdem poker.
By whose definition and under the laws of what country? Not only that, people working for the poker sites would only know about all the details of the game code on a need-to-know basis, and probably only a few at the very top would know everything that is going on.
Also, people working their way up in the organization would be progressively indoctrinated into the corporate philosophy: The answer is yes.
Online poker is one big scam. If you watch and everyhand is showed down you will see that someone has aces at least ten times out of hands. They juice up the action for rake.
Deny it if you want, but its the truth. Countless sets up against the nut straight on the flop and they lose to the flush draw.
The AP scandal and then the UB scandal SHOULD be enough to make you quit but yet you want to live in a fantasy land because you played on their site for a year and cashed out bucks 1 year of playing.
Yeah your right it cant be fixed, they arent going to reward you bucks for earning them 10, dollars of rake to keep you hooked into playing. Shoot id give you dollars for making me dollars.
We are in the most technically advanced age ever and they found an edge and are exploiting it. Play live poker for 1 hour.
I challenge you and then play online for 20 min and you can see the difference. What are the odds of playing heads up poker and running into a royal flush when your opponet holds a J-3o?
They pick accounts to be winners, it has nothing to do with the skill of the player, odds mean nothing in online poker.
They favor the bigstacks in tournaments. When the bigstack plays trash and keeps winning and never losing any coinflips being the underdog out 10 flips that means the coin has only one side!!!
Why defend that bs when it happens in every tournament!!! I stopped making deposits over a year ago and i suggest you do the same.
I first got started on a major pokersite. Soon after, I went on a horrible streak. Lost countless times with premium hands like AA and KK, usually in all-in pots.
Soon, my bankroll was gone. After a long break, I made a small deposit again at this very same site. Then it was like they flipped a switch.
So I went to another site. This new site offered blackjack as well. Then again, I started losing all- in pots with premium hands till I was back where I started.
So I decided to try their blackjack. Then they flipped the blackjack switch. The dealer started getting 20 or 21 almost every hand and then that was gone.
The bottom line is these sites let everyone have success at first to get them hooked. Then when they take your money you think it was just bad luck because you won before, so you make another deposit.
Poker games have to be rigged to help the donkeys in poker. If they would bust out on those all-in pots like they should most of the time, they would leave the room.
Without donkeys, poker rooms could not survive financially. With the amounts of money involved and greed being a constant in human behavior.
I say we would all be quite naive to think that poker sites are all honest. Many ways to accompolish stealing and have it go undetected.
Just ask Bernie Madoff about that! There is no dout online poker is not so much rigged but rigged for action , early deposits early win… after a while u lose, thats how it works.
Think like this for a min…. Heres the 6th quads i saw that night… That was the last time i played online poker. Not even pocket aces could have beaten me on that hand.
The 6 was the only card that he most certainly had to have 2 handed. Justelis big blind folded before Flop Seat 4: Wow Tomas I feel your pain.
Or was it luck he hits the turn? Can I tell you how many times I have been there. Its a king, That right he hit runner runner to take the win.
I pushed all in on the turn thinking he had AX and would make the call. He did, and he did what I wanted him to do.
After the hand was over a player typed the following into the chat box. Funny how the case king hit, WOW! Only think that am so unlucky because of how often this happens.
You win only when it is your time to win, And they say when that will be. In tourneys it is based on chip count and not the best hand or player.
Because a good player watchs and would pick up on it. Once more online poker is not about playing great poker. It is more about playing against the software.
And that means playing your real opponent the site who in fact owns the software and is the winning player all the time.
Lets look at a few things, Ask yourself this question. What risk is there if there is nothing anyone can do if you get caught. The USA has no control over these sites.
And I like to add nither dose the banks who are taking a real hit, As most players were using creit to fund there accounts in the past.
However i am currently on a down spiral on william hill which is now part of i-poker and i am considering withdrawing again while im still ahead. I would be interested to hear from some independent experts on software who could maybe take a little time to look at the software these sites use.
The only folks that say online poker is not rigged are A the site owners B the site employee or C someone running an affiliate site. I agree with previous posters on everything including play the program…not the cards or the players.
After that, they will start losing those all ins no matter what they have in their hands. If you must play online, watch and learn the program….
There is no way a good poker player can make money in online poker. You have to be willing to make some of those bs calls yourself.
Pay attention and you will see and feel them coming based on where you are at in the tourney, position and chip-wise. We truly are all suckers…lol.
Remember as well, tons of outs you will generally lose…one or two and you are good as gold!!! Of all online Poker sites, I feel that Pokerstars is the most rigged.
The number of times that the worse hand sucks out on the better hand in certain situations e. Or when they tell you to prove it by showing everyone your hand histories etc.
Or when they say bad beats are a normal part of poker. Bad beats ARE a normal part of poker… but so are odds.
The piece to the puzzle that I feel a lot of people seem to be missing is that it is not necessary for a few selected people to get all the bad beats, for a site like Pokerstars to make more money.
In fact, the bad beats could be spread around… particularly when people are going all in in the middle stages of a tournament — this is to induce more people to buy into another tournament.
But this is a a red herring. For example, consider every tournament hand where one person is all in against another, in the middle or late part of a tournament just as an example … How many times does the favorite hand get beaten regardless of who holds the favorite hand — it may not be you?
This is the question that should be asked. Not surprisingly, it is difficult to get all this information, since you can generally only access your own hand histories.
This is why a site like Pokerstars can get away with rigging the games in this way. This allows the site to point to your own personal hand histories and say: However, to show that Pokerstars is rigged, these stats should be collected not by individual, but across all players.
I suspect that you would then see that the worse hand wins more often than statistics would tell you it should.
Why do they do this? By timing the suckouts right, people will be out and will be free to play another tournament and thus, pay another entry fee.
This is bad for business. If only the tight players were left, and if they won more often, all tournaments would be mostly filled with these tight players.
This also does not make for good business because these players will last longer in tournaments, and thus play fewer of them.
This is to give you the sense that it is possible to win on Pokerstars… but in my opinion, this is just a set up. This is also a red herring.
Consider also this example, a particular RNG might spit out some number between 0 and 1 at any given time.
You could show that the number is randomly generated by the RNG, and that a series of numbers that may be generated sequentially appear truly random.
For the next hand, let the cards come out A9TKQ these could be random, but need not be. Now, grab the value from the RNG. Otherwise, deal them something else.
In my opinion, the code can definitely can be rigged. Any programmer will tell you that. Yes, that is true. I agree with that. Online poker is rigged and rotten to the core.
All you need to do is listen to people to understand this. It robs people of their hard-earned money, and sends the most unfortunate of all into addiction, depression and suicide.
The RNGs are all fixed and the sites are full of house players. To hell with online poker. I have just quit the game for ever and for good.
I curse the day I ever heard of it. WHY is it not randomized: I would like to leave a reply for alkeyjr a couple of post up…sorry I realize your post was over a month ago but I see no reply yet….
I checked at one time as to whether charges to my VISA card on an online poker site could be disputed and recovered, because I had read somewhere online that you could dispute those charges….
Unfortunately, my VISA provider told me this was not the case — if you made the purchase using the correct card number, expiry date, and providing the CVV code on the back of the card, it was a done deal and you are responsible for the purchase….
I cant believe i just spent 2 hours reading through all these post. I consider myself a good player and time and time again i deposit with initial success only to lose again after a time frame.
Sometimes your the truck, sometimes your the unfortunate stray dog that just happened to cross the road on the wrong day.
Now, are the lower games more suspect to program fix simply because the sites understand that there would be more attention being applied to the higher cash games?
There were a lot of good post both for and against these theroies, but i wonder independently, is this just the mere fact that lower stakes players tend to be less educated poker players that are willing to make bad calls and see flops they shouldnt be involved in that better players will not be?
But the fact is you should have folded because that was the correct thing to do. There is a simple fact that lower stakes players will play way too many hands that they should not be involved.
So i just wonder how much of the variance we see in hand outcomes is due to this fact versus the program fix for lower stakes play. Now, as i write this, i have not looked up enough information on the internet to find out if time has caught up with these poker sites and its been proven wether or not hand outcomes are predetermined.
I know enough about programming to know that artificial intelligence can be written into these programs. Pure volume alone will eventually even out all random outcomes even if they are not randomnly accessed.
Jim wrote an excellent post about how this can be manipulated by programming and still appear to be random by any independent testing alogorithm.
Are poker sites any different than any other casino game that the house has the odds and all they want is for you to play not caring one way or the other wether you win or lose?
The question i wonder, however, is who is the greatest programmer ever that figured out how to determine who are the good and bad players and what is the best way to even these hands out.
How in thier infinite wisdom did they figure out that i always play in my big blind against any all in shove from the button?
That is one programmer who needs a sunny day on the beach!!!! I have seemed to ramble on enough that i have forgotten what i originally set out to comment on.
However, bottom line is this. I whole heartily agree that online poker sites appear to have an inclination to appear rigged for action wether it be from so so players playing hands they shouldnt be playing or from the fact that we as players really do only remember the bad beats or programmed outcome has been bias based to regulate maximum income potential for the owners of the site.
Does anyone know who really oens them??? We as consumers have the responsibilty to buy sell or trade at our discretion and its up to us to determine the best avenue for doing so.
Is the investment into a poker site that is based outside the US responsibilities in our best interest. However, the fact is that until we have a US based industry for poker sites online that is regulated for player fairness and outcome, we can only blame ourselves and not the current online poker sites.
Risk versus reward, sound familiar? Hmmmm sounds like real poker. I agree with most of you guys! I believe most poker sites ARE rigged.
But to what extent. Surely there must be some body out there to regulate this , I mean it is Illegal to fix a horse race so shouldnt this sort of stuff be the same.?
Zac Wolf small blind showed [Ac Ad] and lost with a pair of Aces. I am a pretty good card player in general, having played a lot of bridge and other trump related games in the past.
I have also played some poker and other gambling oriented games on and off. So I decide I want to play some online poker for small stakes, just cos it would be fun and I would really like to learn to play well as much as one can online.
I sign up with Pokerstars and Full tilt, have a mess around with a lot of play money hands etc, and I do ok.
So then I go read some books and look at loads of stuff online, learning a ton of stuff to help my game. I am just a beginner in the poker world, but am intelligent, a good card player and learning fast.
I decide I am not gonna throw my money away as I am a noob. While I know how to play the game, I need to at least improve some before taking the plunge with real stakes.
So I start playing freerolls and do pretty ok. And so it went on for about a week, culminating in the last two nights….
I have hand with top pair, 4 cards down, I am big favourite, need a pot top get me back in the game.
I go all in, top stack calls and drops a 2 on the river to make a small straight. I get up, walk around the room, kick the cat jk and so on. After ten mins I cool down.
Ok, this stuff happens, just bad luck. You are just angry and bitter cos you lost. More or less identical situation, I play tight, tight, waiting for my hand to get a nice pot.
I have top pair 10s , 4 cards down, all small, possible but unlikely low straight draw. I go all in, I am called and guess what… Yep, this time a 3 drops on the river, he makes a straight and I am history.
Then I started to think back to all the times I went all in with good pairs or AK and got beat. The times I had trips and there is a straight, the times I had a straight and two suited runners drop for the opponents flush and so on.
I came to the conclusion that, after just a few days of playing, that there is definitely something fishy going on with online poker.
The number or weird hands, bad beats and just unbelievable drops happen just way too often. Point 2, and most importantly: So I cant be accused on that score.
After just about a week of online poker, I have serious suspicions about its fairness and the random element of the cards.
Lastly, a question, trying to be pro-active rather than just negative. I really enjoy playing online poker.
I was having a great time until I started to realise some of the stuff that was happening. So, does anyone know of an online poker site that IS fair and random and where I might just have the chance to lose my money by playing badly rather than thinking all the time that I have been cheated?
I have played on many of the online poker sites and they are all the same, rigged. I currently play on pacific poker and I do win overall but very slowly.
You have to accept the incredible bad beats and downswings and know that you will win it back in your next good spell.
You cannot win online by playing proper poker, you have to adapt your game to a game where you are recognising and folding out of as many bent hands as you can even if you have a good hand sometimes its best to fold because the alternative better hand is ALWAYS there.
You will still get caught out by highly improbable river beats but the plan is to win more bent ones than lose.
If these happened now and again you could accept it was random but they appear just too often. Join us in our Asian themed dining room for a wonderful IZA experience.
Open Mon-Sat, lunch and dinner. Their distinctive and healthy smoothie menu is worth the visit too! Quick and delicious breakfast and lunch is always ready to go; pastries, croissants, bagels, breakfast burritos, wraps, salads, and soups.
Open 8 am to 10 pm daily. Original recipes and fresh ingredients combined from Japanese, Chinese, Polynesian, and Southeast Asian influences to appeal to American palates.
Full menu available in our non-smoking bar. Noodle Express W. Broadway Featuring a mixture of non-traditional Chinese, Japanese, and Polynesian contemporary dishes.
Phone ahead ordering is enhanced with a convenient Pick-Up window. Or mix and match items from our hot case.
Need some dessert with that? Our bakery makes cookies, cakes, and brownies that are ready when you are. Our famous breakfast is served all day!
Eat in or take-out. The chocolate lovers paradise is now also a great place for lunch. With a total remodel, serving freshly made sweet and savory crepes, delicious quiches, soups, seasonal salads and artisanal European style pastries.
Half price bar drinks Monday — Friday, p. Or, snack on one of our shareable starters with friends! Choose from a selection of five Thai curries, Pad Thai, delicious Thai soups, and an assortment of tantalizing entrees.
Featuring fresh ingredients and authentic Thai flavors-no MSG! See for yourself why Thai food is a deliciously different change from other Asian cuisines.
Now serving Beer and Wine! Open for Lunch and Dinner, featuring a Sat. Great Fresh food With Huge Portions.
Traditional Irish fare combined with tasty specials from around the globe! We serve fantastic sandwiches on fresh-baked bread.
Now featuring a special summer menu. All of your favorite Irish classics, plus a daily selection of Chef's specialties.
A fully stocked bar, wine and liquor store and the Emerald Casino make The Stone of Accord the perfect place for an enjoyable meal. Breakfast is served all day.
All Soups, including our famous Tomato Soup, are made from scratch. Voted best milkshakes in Missoula for 14 straight years. Monday - Sunday 8a.
Try our homemade soups, pizzas, and specials. Extensive menu, vegetarian options and many soup options as well including Vietnamese style pho, Tom Yum, wonton and more.
Wok-ee Mountain Asian Restaurant is perfect for take out or dine in. Join us for lunch if you'd like. Higgins Celebrating 37 years of great coffees and teas.
Our cafe features homemade soups, fresh salads, and coffee ice cream specialties. Our smooth and creamy ice cream is made fresh daily using our secret recipe.
Come in for our weekday specials. Get Gift Cards any time. Treat yourself to a 10minute vacation at Cold Stone Creamery. Enjoy international flavors from baci di dama to pizzelles, gourmet cupcakes, scones and decadent cinnamon rolls.
Specialty breads hot and fresh between 3 and 5pm daily. Sugar skulls for Dia de los Muertos! Several more baked options and the finest espresso available.
Please find our goods at the finest grocers across Missoula. Saturday , Sunday , MondayFriday Across from the U of M campus.
We arrived home late, in the dark. I parked so the headlights shone across the chicken yard, helping me avoid cacti when I shut the coop. But the lights missed the rattlesnake lying in my path.
Its buzzing tail and hissing breath combined into a sound like a helicopter taking off. I made the sound of a shrieking kid.
My hens were unusually silent in their coop. Eggs are a favorite rattlesnake food, and perhaps it was after those eggs. But what was weird about the situation was that the snake was in the same place as where I dumped the body of the first rattlesnake.
Shorty spotted the first snake in the tomato patch, where she was harvesting. It was a young snake, sleeping in the shade.
When she told me about it, my eyes rolled back a little. I grabbed my square-point shovel grimly, with zero tolerance in my heart for rattlesnakes in the garden.
A better man would have just captured the snake and moved it to safer turf. I used the shovel blade to pin the snake into the ground right behind its head, and finished with a machete.
Green Tea Tasting Saturday, Oct. The broad and robust squash leaves have curled and turned black, although the squash itself looks fine.
Is it time to be extra blue because I lost my squash too? I reached over the fence and grabbed my squarepoint shovel.
I held the shovel toward the snake, and it struck quicker than my eyes could see. I felt the hit, heard the ping of fangs on the blade, and immediately bolted to the top of the chicken coop.
I hopped off the coop, keeping my eyes on the snake as I backed toward the fence, where I picked up a grapefruit-sized rock and whipped it at the snake, nailing it.
It hissed louder, uncoiled and re-coiled itself. Shorty collected more rocks and handed them to me over the fence.
I threw rocks until the snake began moving more slowly. Then I moved in with the shovel for an ugly finish. I put the snake on the grill, too.
We devoured our green chile burgers and picked at the snake. The taste was good, sort of like chicken. But each little mouthful was a lot of work, because the layer of flesh around the bones was so thin.
Eating it this way was tasty but slightly painstaking. I got a pot of water going, and simmered the snake in hopes of coaxing off the remaining meat.
I strained the water, teased apart flesh from bones, and ended up with about half a cup of snake meat. In the land around our house, prickly pear cactus fruit were ripe and purple.
Prickly pear fruits are juicy, and covered with annoying short fuzzy spines that hook into your skin and hang on tenaciously.
I scraped the fruits clean with a butter knife under the faucet while the snake scraps baked at degrees in a castiron skillet. When the prickly pear fruits were clean I added them to the skillet.
After about 25 minutes they started to collapse, and I added whole garlic cloves, stirring occasionally until the garlic softened. Then I turned off the oven and left the dish inside to keep warm.
The prickly pear fruits, sweet and perfumy, were the highlight of the dish. The garlic cloves were also spectacular, as was the rattlesnake, which still tasted like chicken.
It was crispy and dry at this point, nicely balanced by the pungent garlic and the tart sweetness of cactus fruit. This was the best that snake had tasted.
The girls avoided the body, which sank into the dirt in front of the rock beneath which the new snake was now cursing its forked tongue at me.
The first snake, being asleep, was easy. But the new one was ready to rumble. Some growers do it outside on. Cover the curing squash at night just in case.
They can also be cured inside at room temperature. The ones with rotten spots should be eaten right away, while the clean ones should be periodically inspected and culled.
Send your food and garden queries to flash flashinthepan. Aspen Hospice of Montana is currently looking for volunteers to help offer comfort, pain relief and emotional support for those who are near the end of their lives.
Call Lois at Heidi Meili Gordon Lightfoot decides s glam shots are still the best way to promote his sleek brand of Canadian folk when he plays the University Theatre Sat.
Call for pricing. Call PLAY or visit www. Those revelations will hit Missoula on Monday night during a simultaneous global reading of The Laramie Project: Teresa Waldorf, join 10 other professionals and students for the performance.
Once they grace the stage, be ready to travel into the minds of Laramie locals, some of whom refuse to call the incident a hate crime.
Breakdance, slamdance or just inventively dance when your 7- to 8 year-old checks out Creative and Modern Movement, a dance class at 4: Wiggle those hips and strike poses of elegant expression when former UM dance prof Amy Ragsdale leads a beginning to intermediate Modern Dance class at the Downtown.
Dance Collective, W. Get your classical music fix in Ronan earlier in the night before you head to see the Cascade Quartet during a casual reception for the quartet which features wine, appetizers and solo performances by members from 5: Gain some insight into early detection and increased awareness of breast cancer during the lecture Issues of Breast Cancer Survivorship at 5: Missoula gets to revisit the glory of student revelry in the s during.
Celebrate a new addition to UM with others during a grand opening ceremony for the Phyllis J. Connect your mind and soul to whatever diety you deem divine during a taize chanting circle with Rev.
Jennifer Hackenbruch and Erin Barnes the second and fourth Thu. Has the deepening recession dampened your aspirations?
Feeling too straight and separate? Things might get just a little emotional and slightly alternative when California emo rockers Secondhand Serenade croon a tune at the Wilma Theatre at 7 PM.
Th e Audition, Evan Taubenfeld and Rust open. You just might do the push, whip or the jitterbug-lindy when Cathy Clark slings beginning swing dance lessons every Thu.
Rock some sweet fiddle solos and bust a move while others shred without use of an amp during Old Timey Music Sessions at Free Cycles, S.
Bring yer guitar, bass or other instrument of choice every Thu. Harrier, when it holds an open-mic style artists showcase at 8 PM.
Interested musicians should Call Higgins Ave, and runs each night until Oct. See Scope in this issue. Bowling and karaoke go together like country and techno during Solid Sound Karaoke at Westside Lanes at 8: Sorry ladies, but Thu.
Bassackwards Karaoke turns your world underside-up every Thu. See Noise in this issue. See a plethora of patterns and colors after a few pitchers, and muster up the courage to belt out some classics too, and perhaps win a prize, during Kaleidoscope Karaoke every Tue.
Dance with a cougar or two, or not,. Cross your karaoke sword with others under the influence of that music box you sing along to during Combat DJ and Karaoke nights, this and every Thu.
Call or Did I need to tell you that? Toddlers always learn a thing or two from books like Chronic City by Jonathan Letham at Toddler Story Time, which includes age appropriate stories of course , from ATM rules available at MoClub.
Thinking about Graduate School? Concerned about social justice? Interested in making a difference in the lives of individuals, families and communities?
For more infor mation contact the MSW office. Call or send an e-mail to janet. See Agenda in this issue. Learn to simmer down a bit when you fly off the handle at your kid during Anger Management for Parents, where Brad Boylan will discuss strategies to manage and identify the source of your anger from noon—2 PM at Families First, E.
RSVP by calling A Cultural Exhibition with a Second Friday reception at 5: So snare yourself to Pursa-palooza, a debut show of purses from Jen E.
Teen Challenge Montana wants to thank you for your support this year for its faith-based, long-term substance abuse recovery program with Blind Spots, a dinner and mini-theater production starting at 6: Call Barry Peterson at Get a little complex and intimate with others on the dance floor when Patrick Marsolek and Grace Hodges lead Tango Night!
Can you spit out the best rhymes and stanzas? Find out during auditions for a poetry slam at 7 PM at S. Winners move on to a poetry slam competition at the Palace on Oct.
Intended for mature audiences. The Lifers aim to prioritize your life goals by shooting some chords through your ears when they play the Eagles Lodge, South Ave.
Opening support from The Raquet and Infernal Machine. He lives to spin: Your heart, the planet and your farmer-neighbors give thanks every Sat.
Free to spectate, and often to sample. Steep in the smells of apple cider, caramel apples, apple butter and just about anything apple related during the 30th Annual McIntosh Apple Day at the Ravalli County Museum, Bedford St.
They buck trends and still deliver the artistic goods: Your bedtime tales of college-age debauchery fall a little short of the mark. Family Storytime offers engaging experiences like stories, fingerplays, flannel-board pictograms and more at 11 AM at the Missoula Public Library.
Food and beverages will be available for purchase. Big Trouble at noon at the museum, N. Contour, gesture and modeled drawing techniques keep the fingers of your child busy with a variety of drawing media like charcoal and pen as Feather Sherman leads the final installment of Kids Saturday Drawing Club from 1—3 PM at the Missoula Art Museum, N.
Call or email bethann mudproject. Interested in soaking your creative juices into the next Shantytown? Higgins, at 4 PM. See the beauty of Montucky as captured through the lense of photographer Jake Wallis during a reception of his work at the Wall Gallery on the main floor of Wall Street Place, Wall St.
Call or e-mail holly zootownarts. We are also accepting a limited number of new patients. Specializing in cancer, oncology, HIV, female hormonal issues and more.
Medicaid Spend-Down Provider Ask about our veteran's program. Medicated diabetic baked goods available. Opening support from The Lion.
Be thankful that the Iran Contra scandal has nothing to do with an upcoming Contra folk dance in Kalispell, which features music by Barbara Calm and Friends along with callings form Mark Mathews from 7: Call Joe at The dance floor of the Downtown Dance Collective, W.
Get locked up and your aural senses beautifully chopped up when The Lifers take the stage of the Eagles Lodge, South Ave. Solid Sound Karaoke proves that music can also be a liquid or a gas, but never plasma, at Westside Lanes at 8: The Frenchtown Club, Demers St.
Turn south after taking exit 89 from I Birds Mile Home and Wartime Blues open. Soak up presentations, discussions and networking opportunities with those interested in business and real estate during the Fourth Annual Conference on Real Estate and Development in the Northern Rockies, which starts with pre-conference tours at TBA times and locations on Oct.
Kathianne Lewis spreads a spiritual message for your viewing pleasure at the Carriage House in Hamilton, N. Call Barb at Hook yourself into the minds of three artists: In honor of National Coming Out Day, the Western Montana Community Center invites you and other rainbow friendly folks to meet and greet the board, and to share your ideas for the center at its annual town hall meeting from 2—4 PM in the large meeting room of the Missoula Public Library, E.
Car dealerships across the state have had to endure these swings and some of them have had to make significant changes to stay above ground. Over the last five months co-owners Flanagan and Kevin Arnot have had to tap their creative resources and reinvent themselves to stay in business.
Welcome to the reinvented Flanagan Motors. Over the past few months Flanagan and Arnot have remodeled their showroom and tweaked their marketing message.
They also decided to take advantage of some natural line extensions that made sense for them. Flanagan Motors currently has eight used Harleys for sale.
There has also been a lot of news about credit markets lately. We have worked out a relationship with a lender that virtually guarantees anyone can get a car loan.
From service and maintenance requirements to challenging credit needs; whether you need a low mile preowned Harley-Davidson motorcycle or a modified Jeep that will offer you unparalleled off-road capability, the staff at Flanagan Motors wants you to remember them.
The future does indeed look bright to them, and they feel it should for you as well. Not all items on display at all locations. Limited to stock on hand.
Delivery available for an additional charge. Improvisational movement with others takes on a jammy vibe during contact dance improv, this and every Sun.
Musicians are welcome and encouraged. E-mail missoula contactimprov gmail. You too can practice guided, affirmative and visual meditation with others when Rev.
Euchre is one of those games that goes great with beer because you can tell what the cards look like even if your vision is a little blurry.
He points his middle finger at haters and rocks a mean haircut, so nail down some Kansas City hip-hop when Tech N9ne shoots through Missoula for the K.
Tour at 8 PM at the Wilma Theatre. Hear ye, hear ye: Learning Center, every Mon. Veterans can find support with trained facilitator Chris Poloynis every Mon.
Call to register. Kindergartners through eighth graders find a positive, stress-free environment after school at Two Creeks Bridges program which features play materials, art and more Mon.
Call to register or e-mail sarchibald dishmail. Hanna Hannan leads art projects, field trips, tours and more from 3—5: Soon-to-be mommas with bambinos in the oven can feel empowered, relaxed and nurtured during a prenatal yoga class, this and every Mon.
RSVP or visit tangledtones. Call KIDS to reserve a spot. Rejuvenate your mind and body from the Monday blues during a Vinyasa Yoga class this and every Mon.
Call Blair at Join online or call today. Make your impassioned point in whatever rented costume most fits the bill when the Missoula City Council meets—as they do the first four Mondays of every month, holidays excluded—at 7 PM in the Missoula City Council Chambers, W.
Call Susie at Open to all religions and levels of practice. Free, but donations appreciated. Bingo is no longer in the domain of the geriatric when Colin Hickey leads Colin Bingo at 8: Who says America never invented a pub sport?
Beer Pong proves them all wrong at the Office Bar, W. You can fight for peace in many different ways, but how about knitting for it?
Find out when the group Knitting for Peace meets every Tue. Toss out your 3. Call Land your next job with more than just luck during a resume and cover letter workshop from 3: Teens ages 13—18 stir their creative juices during Teen Media Club every Tue.
He is a two-time National Magazine Award winner. Beginners can try, but those more experienced might catch on quicker during Intermediate World Fusion Bellydance, which takes place every Tue.
Beginners can try, but those more advanced in the ways of clay should check an intermediate throwing class, which runs this and every Tue.
Buying a home may seem out of reach, but it sure seems like the best time to do it, so nab some info during First Time Homebuyer Classes in the Bitterroot every night from 6—9 PM today through Oct.
Call or e-mail matthew drumbrothers. A single bracelet does not jingle: Broadway, hosts weekly support groups for women every Tue.
New group members with children are asked to arrive at 6: Follow your dreams of becoming the next Willie Nelson, and get buy-one-get-one-free drink tickets, during an open mic night every Tue.
E - m a i l m i s s o u l a democrats missoulademocrats. Francis Catholic Church, S. Whitefish musicians trade their skills for free drinks as the Great Northern Bar hosts Open Mic Night, which begins at 8 PM with an acoustic jam circle, heads into an electric set at 9: Call to reserve your spot.
The Downtown Dance Collective, W. Morning Melodies, a free, fun-filled, familyfriendly music event tailored to preschoolers, occurs every Wed.
Call Renee Taafee at for pricing. Engage that vessel in your skull with some stewardship related info when the Missoula Conservation Voters holds a Missoula Conservation Roundtable at the Missoula Public Library at Your afternoon break from the recession gets.
Rock those hips to classical and regional Spanish dance styles, as well as Flamenco, when Elenita Brown leads a Flamenco dance class this and every Wed.
Beer drinking moves beyond a social lubricant and into the realm of goodwilll during Pint Nite at the Northside Kettlehouse, N. Develop eloquence in the face of inebriation, as well as impressive business contacts, when Toastmasters meets this, and every, Wed.
Participants must be 18 and over. Should your pottery be functional, or aesthetically pleasing? Lovingly teach your kids self-control, values, good judgement and self-discipline during the class Ages Survival Guide: Gillian Kessler asks only that you embrace your inner diva as she fuses slick Brazilian moves with modern techniques for her AfroBrazilian Dance Class, which takes place every Wed.
Sandy Lawler holds a beginning country western two step dance class this and every Wed. BYO yarn and needles, and check out missoulaknits.
Call Rex at In case of emergency, break finger puppet: Family Storytime offers engaging experiences like stories, fingerplays, flannel-board pictograms and more at 7 PM at the Missoula Public Library.
The Pulitzer Prize Photographs with a lecture by Cyma Rubin, curator of the exhibit, plus a screening of the documentary Moment of Impact: Forget what those mainstream physi-.
Grab that tutu and slap on some ballet shoes every Wed. Release that mid and late week stress during Tai Chi Chuan classes every Wed. Call Chris at You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but neither will help you emit that high lonesome sound every Wed.
Arabic eggplant dishes expel from your ears when locals Baba Ghanoush bring their old timey vibes to the Palace at 9 PM. Kids and parents experiment with rhythm and more during Rhythm Tykes, a class for kids 18 months—4 years old this and every Thu.
Breakdance, slamdance or just inventively dance when your 7- to 8year-old checks out Creative and Modern Movement, a dance class at 4: Put a smile on your face and a tune in your head—join guitarist Craig Wickham every Thu.
Broadway, from 5—7 PM. All genres are encouraged—excepting, perhaps, dancehall—every Thu. Gypsies come out during Troupe Night class every Thu.
Soak in art that deals with the experience of Asian Americans at internment camps in the s during Artini: Selvedge Studio, S.
Guys are welcome, but should plan on parting with a few bucks. Free, BYO plates, cups, utensils and a dish to share.
Also bring seeds to swap. Try your hand at fused glass pendants and decorate a slumped wine bottle to take home during an adult glass class for those 18 and up from 6—8 PM at the ZACC Gallery, N.
Apply online at www. Pop the champagne bottle and bring the kids: Dance with a cougar or two, or not, every Thu. Spiffy MySpace music pages translate into fanciful acoustic pop ballads for your ears when Sioux Falls, S.
Each exhibit delivers plenty of eye-catching goods and food for thought. Also, the next time Broad Comedy comes to town, go. Those smart, sassy ladies are hilarious and pack a serious punch to established norms.
So as you plan your next artistic endeavor, or comedic enterprise, Send your event info by 5 PM on Fri. You can also submit stuff online.
Well, the cold snap has finally arrived, the winds whipping through Hellgate Canyon and into every crevice of your body not covered by warm clothing.
While some may curse our passage into these seasons, with the return of overcast skies especially in Missoula , falling leaves and spine chilling temperatures, others find aesthetic beauty in such scenes.
Space is also limited, so act fast and contact the Wilderness Institute at wi cfc. The retreat starts Friday at 4 PM and runs until mid-day on Sun.
A Saturday-only option for the retreat runs from 8: Call Larry Weeks at Ritter is a rep from the Biomimicry Institute and will discuss the discipline, as well as the importance of looking at the world as model, measure and mentor.
And, before the week closes, make sure to scan or sell some sweet of the MWA at Expect a bison info sesh, a bison from 5—7 PM.
In the meantime, bundle up in the cool weather and keep dress up party, stories and an art project. Saturday is also an opportune time for the fowl freaks among gonna get colder from here on out.
Once the trip starts at a TBA time on Sat. Stony Mountain and Quigg Peak. You missed the pre-trip meeting on Oct. This would not do. For the next half of the performance she proceeded to lead us in the art of audience rowdiness.
A live band with piano, stand-up bass and drums scored the entire show under the warm glow of a spotlight.
They often became part of the banter when the MC chose to chide them. The bartender from The Silk. On opening night, for instance, the MC happened to pick on a Bulgarian professor in the crowd who knew German fluently.
The MC started throwing out crass German phrases at the professor, and the professor came back with his own lines without missing a beat.
While Olson and Fehring had spoken in general about putting on the show, the actual rehearsal for production did-. And, it was a lesson well learned.
We wanted that racy sort of thing, but darker. Toward the end of the night, as the audience grew bolder, so did the music. Road restaurant walked through the audience taking drink orders for wine and beer as dancers in barely anything at all swaggered and high kicked.
The improv aspect of a cabaret makes it light, too, but it also makes it feel a bit dangerous. Lulls in onstage banter suddenly put the flow of the theatrics in peril.
You can often tell when something is unscripted, like when the MC mischievously steps onstage to ogle the unwitting dancers or when one of the singers spills her martini and stops mid-note to demand another.
As an audience member you must be prepared for confrontation. In this cabaret, at least, there is no inkling of a fourth wall.
From the very beginning, that empty seat next to you is fair game for any of the performers who might pick you out as their personal prop.
When one of the performers steps off the stage and walks toward you, you truly feel invested in what happens next. With so much improvisation and so many opportunities for the performance to diverge.
For the next cabaret, Fehring has written some original songs to complement some of the classics.
By then, Olson hopes that the audiences will be ready to get a little braver. It was just plain, hedonistic fun. If I like a band right now, it probably falls into one of three categories: Down to a pair of aluminum braces now, he made his way, halting, down the center aisle of the funeral home to see the old man laid out.
Before he can get there his mother steps in front of him. She beholds her broken son, who had moved heaven and earth to be at his father's funeral, but was still late.
She put her hands on her hips and says: Flint is also the birthplace also of General Motors, and of cars you have heard of and cars you have not heard of -the Dort, the Mason, the Little, and the Flint itself.
In the s Michael Moore made the city look ridiculous in its wretchedness, tumbling from one financial crisis to another, endlessly downward like a suicide through a series of awnings, finally crashing through a convertible roof, the city plummeted like a Slant 6 engine from the top of the Durant Hotel, falling six stories, digging a hole in the earth, to return to the vein of iron it sprang from, buried among the bodies of the Obibwe and the coffins of the Methodist pioneers.
She lived on a farm in Genesee County, she was sturdy and good-hearted, but she must have challenged my dad about something, he would roll his eyes at the mention of her.
One summer we visited the farm and I watched my grandmother behead a chicken running in the yard, she chased it with an ax, and I watched that chicken dance in the dust, blood spurting from where its head had been.
He called her retarded, but she called him on his game. Sixty years later my son and I drive through the city, and the streets of Flint are flooding, the sudden rains are choking the gutters and kids are out splashing in their sneakers in the lake that used to be Knickerbocker Street, out on the outskirts of Flint where the grass grows high as cane on every lawn and burned-out cars stand along the curbs and the lightning flashes through the hole in the roof of the house I was born in, where the shutters slap and the curtain drips into the sea that swirls and sucks things down, clean water rushing headlong into the storm sewers of Flint.
Parade Of Homes What if we had lived a different life, What if the houses we lived in were different houses, What if we awoke each morning in different rooms, What if we looked out the windows on a different world?
Would we have made different friends, And stayed up late on summer nights, laughing and drinking with them? Would different moments have defined our fate, Chance occurrences on other street corners?
Would we have grown into different people? Would we have experienced different success? Would we have different philosophies now?
Would they have brought us closer together or pulled us farther apart? When I bicycle down these neighborhood streets, The ones we toured and considered for ourselves, The rooms we examined, carefully nodding our heads, the wood that we smelled, the glass that shone -I remember those smells, I remember that light And I think about the life we did have, and I wonder.
It lasts, you get used to it, you have been squeezed and let go by your breath a billion times by now, still the song plays on on the fork in your head.
Everyone wants to die and go to heaven though not necessarily in that order. Who can blame them? Who was it that came and pried you apart?
Do you still preach that stuck in the heart lives a bug who wakes in the ordained year and sings? That voice is the music that bids time pass, soft and threatening like an instant of ripeness hung on its stem, like the purplest plum.
Mention that name and you burst into blossom. You will be round like the moon you pinch between two fingers. In the past three years I have had to replace about 40 pair.
This is a serious problem. She stares at me without a hint of humor. You just go to your poetry readings, she says with her eyes.
Just leave me, the dog, to figure out what to do by myself, Locked up in this lonely human house. Joseph and Jehovah Both were distant fathers, in their ways.
Joseph was of the opinion it was none of his business, This deal he was never a party to. He loved the boy, and taught him what he knew.
But they never had The Conversation And he died in the silence he lived in. Jehovah was more complicated.
He explained he was sending the boy on a mission, And it would challenging but glorious in the end. But after he left, there were no letters and no calls.
And at the critical moment, when the son called out To save him, he folded his newspaper and stared into space.
The waves crash and foam upon the sand. Redheads on their beach towels are bursting into flame. Sexual Reassignment My wife returned from a long trip away.
We went for a walk with the dogs. What do you think of the idea? I mean, he corrected me. She was born near Savage but has lived in the city for twenty six years.
She walks at night and is never sighted by day. The only people who see her scouring the alleys are drunks and the homeless and couples under streetlights.
When you hear a cat screech, or a dog sound out from behind a fence, She is there, bounding down the boulevards.
She walks on grass to avoid leaving footprints. She knows to let the dumpster lids down softly. She checks screen doors to find ones that are unlocked.
Lit in floodlights, she snatches northerns from the spillway at St. She drags a burlap bag of oatmeal across the Stone Arch Bridge. She pads through the jungle along the Mississippi, And swims across the narrows under the Interstate in the dark.
Huffing and galumphing she makes her way to the mushroom caves That were worship centers years before, before the railroad companies blew them up. But they left one corridor intact -- inside the cave the bear spreads out her takings for the two young cubs.
Plebiscite of the Grass The grass demanded that a vote be held. Our leaders have deceived us into being fearful of this enemy! Who among us has witnessed a single act of terror?
And the leadership made no effort to defend itself. They could not remember either. The grass cheered and stood straight and tall, proud to be grass on a day filled with sunshine.
No one noticed the distant sound of a motor being cranked. Paraphrase Once upon a time … you sure were well-dressed, And you liked throwing the bums a dime back then in your prime, didn't you?
You used to laugh back then at all the people that were hanging out. Now you don't talk so loud, huh? You don't seem so proud now, somehow, at least not in my opinion — Scrounging change for your lunch money.
How does it feel? To not have a home, to not be known by anybody — Down the road, end-over-end, like some kind of Indiana Jones downhill-rolling stone?
We understand you went to one of the better schools, Miss Lonely But all you ever did there was get juiced in it.
Nobody explained to you how to live out by the curb And now look at you, you seem to have gotten pretty used to it.
How does that feel? Close your eyes and explain to everyone how it feels to be you, To be all by yourself, to be all solitary like, with no idea how to get home Completely unknown, pared down to the bone, Rolling alone like a rolling stone?
You never cast your eyes circularly to see the frowns on the faces of the jugglers and the clowns When they all arrived and started performing tricks for you with cards.
You never understood how substandard it all was Delegating other people to go get your kicks for you. Please, honey babe, please tell me how it feels — How does that feel, fella?
A kind of a dead ringer for a rolling stone. A doppelganger for a rolling stone. Separated at birth, mixed up in the maternity ward, like a pair of rolling stones.
Game some say the world will end in stone, others paper, and still some blade because fear makes hash of every laugh and laughter drives love to distraction but love's cover can smother fear rock scissors paper fear laughter love.
The Day You wake up seeing mountains where there were no mountains. People on the street have somewhere to get to, but still they crane their heads and say hello.
In every tree and bush you hear cheeping, and an assortment of dogs are hollering from their pens. You go to the door where someone should have been standing and you rap on the wood with light knuckles.
You shield your eyes from the sun with one hand. A hawk nuzzles itself on a bare phone line. A child in blue runs by with a kite.
Prayer in Defiance of Grief How can you kill what cannot be killed? Why weep for those who have been taken? Why furnish ammunition to the enemy Who hammers jewels from your tears?
Who am I to say, 'This is the end! I can't outsmart the equity markets But I second-guess my molecules? I have made a list of every known sadness And set it ablaze on a paper plate.
Let others twist their hankies at night. I am free of all that forever. Prayer for the Reordering of History If we went just by what the papers say, The world'd be burned to a crisp by now.
So where did all the beauty come from? It's so easy for us to get sidetracked Over massacres, bombs and pogroms. Did you order all that blood for yourself Or did our own certainty require it?
The clang of armies was our idea. All you ever offered was love. And now it is our charming defiance That throws that in your face.
Help us to identify and ignore All propaganda. Better to be blind as a mole than to see Disingenuously.
Bigly At first the word seemed appalling, seemed to suggest The something went wrong in his language center, Which would explain a whole lot, his peculiarities And his stubborn refusal to say things right.
But then the word grew on us — What was so bad about turning an adjective into an adverb? All you need to do is add the suffix — Sillily, daylily, littlely — And you have a fun word you have made your own.
And it sends a valuable message every time you say it — I make the rules, I run the language, I will keep saying this Until you start saying it too, because I am the king of all these things.
Molly in the Door I went to the door and there was my daughter. The sun was shining behind her so I could barely make out her face but I could see she was healthy and strong and happy.
Hi Pops, she slugged me, the way she always did, and she gave me the biggest hug. She held me in my arms and spun me slowly around, spun her old man around, rocking me on my feet.
I was astonished at her musculature and the bright look in her eye, I held on and began to cry At first I was sad because it wasn't true, my daughter wasn't really alive, I would never hold her and swing her like that, again.
But then I thought this is how she might be now, easy and forgiving and strong as a horse, and I began to laugh the same way she used to laugh, eyes closed, top teeth showing, like a semi-moon on a starless night, letting it out in one exhalation, holding nothing back.
It was a dust devil, a creature of air pressure, a swirl of turbulence zagging through beanfields on a warm afternoon, not giant and forboding, but tawny and tan, the color of dirt being milled into sunlight, like a thousand-foot feather tickling the belly of the earth.
But drink in the tapestry tacked up behind the empties. It might be a tribute to baked potatoes clad in aluminum foil But it isn't, it's night-time on an arid beach, And the two astronaut buddies walk hand in hand In the white light from earth -Brushed on black velvet, hung next to the platter of Bobby and JFK.
The Angels of Gomorrah We invited the angels to come down and live among us, imagining they would class the town up. How amazing they were to gaze upon, white as doves in their brilliant raiment.
They played these banjo-like instruments and drank tons of tea and played pinochle. We had no way of knowing they were not housetrained, and they go anywhere they want, and these angels went quite a bit.
Their stomachs were celestial in nature and unused to garbanzo beans. The upshot was that we could no longer dry our laundry in the yard without the angels dropping angel-bombs from the trees.
So we were forced to ask them to leave, as nicely as we could. There were hard feelings and it did not end well, no, it did not end well at all.
You do not think disgusting when you think about angels, but you probably should. Miracle Ear My hearing aid is a tiny thing, a little gray pebble that fits over the ear, with a little wire sticking out.
It was foolish to take it camping to Bear Head Lake, where we parked our trailer on a pad of gray pebbles. In the morning I looked where it should have been on a little ledge above the trailer sink.
I took the trailer apart, piece by piece, disassembled the entire structure, searching for that tiny pebble. And when I pulled the trailer off the pad, I got to my knees and asked each little stone on the ground below if it could help me hear.
We drove home in a blanket of silence, in part because I couldn't hear, in part because of the shame I felt. A week later, I come across a trash bag in the garage, its plastic yellow handles tied in a careful bow.
I pull out the paper towels, the eggshells, potato peels, orange juice bottle and damp coffee filters. And there I see my little pebble.
I place it in my ear, I hear the scratchy sound, and say Yes, yes, yes! Horses Work Hard they clamp their bits in the riding ring kicking the sawdust behind them all day the children mount and pace and when the animals rest steam rises from their bodies like prayer and they turn their heads and snort when the last class is over and the girls ride home in silence in their vans the horses are let out to find solace in the grass.
The world had got warmer and stickier, deserts swarmed over the land, and there was just a sense, shared by people in every nation, that we all had had quite enough of this tyranny.
But how does a tiny planet extinguish a flaming object that is 1. Our entire nuclear stockpile would be like a pimple to the giant.
Maybe some ray gun exists that no one bothered to mention, maybe that could be put to use. Finally we decided just to ignore it, to turn our backs on its constant fusion.
All this time, it was fueled by our conversation. It was surprising how the people of the earth accepted this challenge, and gratifying as the sun began to darken and shrink.
It just showed what we can do when we work together. In Passing We are always passing people on sidewalks and in hallways. They walk toward you, you walk toward them, It is unlikely either one of you will say anything.
There is a rule against waving happily when they are still a block away, And everyone observes that rule except the insane.
There is a chunk of you lodged deep in the hypothalamus that understands that passing is a moment of possible danger that this oncoming stranger may thrust the point of a bread knife into the soft part of your forehead and the last dumb thing you said was hello.
No one wants what this small city far away to the north throws away. It's too expensive to go after their shit for the small savings of reprocessing it.
A crusher would cost a million plus and everything would still have to be sorted and separated. You think of the melting glaciers and you think of the energy that goes into everything that is visible everywhere.
And it's not just the pop cans, it's everything. And so the front yards fill up, with everything people have used -the cars that no longer run, the freezers that stopped freezing, the broken toilets, the ravaged boats, old air conditioners, rusted grills , the splintered plywood ramps used by skateboarders to get lift from the pull of the tundra.
Bicycles, snow-gos, barrows, storage containers, chainsawed doghouses, shipping containers as big as a house, cement mixers that ground to a halt.
I saw industrial equipment I could not identify, great hulking iron things with fans and flanges and levers that once did something powerful but now can only sit in front of a log cabin.
I saw a broken treadmill labeled "Endurance. And up on the tar-paper roofs of these caved-in houses, the racks of moose and caribou, skulls still connected, vegetarian teeth bared to the cold, the trophies of longago hunts.
And sits on their lawns forever, I don't mean lawns, because there is no grass, it sits on their property, it is a forest of rusting junk, it gives away their secrets, it's a 3D photo album, shot to scale,.
No one wants pays the gas to have it sent to a landfill, put on a barge to be chopped up and reused A part of me says how wasteful. A part of me says what a mess.
But it teaches us a lesson, that everything we make takes up space. We who ship everything off to the dump have convinced ourselves we are tidy people when somewhere a half dozen zip codes away a landfill is groaning from our excesses.
And we look at these people of the north and wring our noses like they are the slobs and we are the civilized ones while our shit is packed off to trouble some people in China, in Mexico, or under some mountain in Nevada, or it leeches into our own water substrate and we wonder why our SAT scores are dropping.
It's a filthy-ass world however you shave it so why not keep the bones above ground, to see? Minnesota State Fair I wait outside the Port a Potty for the 7-year-old boy inside to finish, and when I go in, there is boy pee everywhere.
It is like the first few moments following the monsoon. It is a degree bombardment, nothing was spared. I used to be a boy, I know they have a powerful stream but even standing up they are so close to the seat, you would think they could aim for a better result.
Or maybe this is intentional, a kind of declaration. Powerless in the greater world, they let loose their stream behind the pulled latch, grim determination on their pusses.
I daub the area with toilet paper and gingerly lower myself onto the damp, like a sad clown making way for the next act.
In recent months more than 4, penguins have waddled in at Copacabana, Ipanema, Barra da Tijuca, Joatinga and Leblon. Citizens, wishing to be helpful, take the creatures to their homes and place them in their freezers, imagining penguins require cold -which they do, but they also require air.
The result has been hundreds of frozen, asphyxiated penguins, tasting more like seafood than fowl. Tiago Muniz, a veterinarian at the Niteroi Zoo, believes overfishing.
And now they are washing up on the shores of Brazil like messengers from God saying, change is coming. The Idea of a Boat Whoever came up with the idea of a boat was rowing against intuition.
The water, which seeks to envelope us and fill our lungs with itself and drag us down to its embrace, could be contradicted with a thin membrane, a leaf, a log, a raft, a door and we bound out on the breast of death like anybody's business.
I saw and still see golden men so taken in this quiver, so balanced in the air. What goes goes to the end of my heart, the place I keep swept and warm for you that will always be yours.
Let me apologize for all the apologies. What missed the mark, I confess to everything. Who knows who knows the root and anxious word, the fluttering feet and the severed chord — whatever rises, does.
Warning Be wary of poems that mount the pedestal Brandishing words, or better still stand guard, prick up your ears. A deeper peace will take a thousand years.
Fields, and Fannie Brice. Because it is the back door to Brooklyn, many future luminaries grew up there — In the 20s it was a Klan town, holding huge rallies there, mainly against the Catholics and Jews, drawing 30, spectators to watch the robed Klansmen parade.
I thought of Lou Reed, on the riding lawn mower as a boy, in this backwater of stars, and later on, when he took refuge there from his early failures.
I thought of him sitting on the porch flipping Pall Mall butts into the viburnum, His mom Toby frowning from the kitchen cubby window.
Thanks, Dad, putting me through ECT to cure me being gay, that really paid off. Is the song pretentious, a bit? Not when you consider the backup band was Yes.
It is a song of sad joy, standing at the ocean, intoxicating, drugging with its heavy nature. Here come the waves. Here come the waves, And who would be borne on the shoulders of ocean, a thousand feet high at the height, To be set down lame on the ragged lawns of Freeport, Long Island?
Cafe Extempore The young poet decided to recite his work. He had imbued it with properties of might. Serpentine language, astonishing paradox, fervent proclamations of his own arrival on the scene.
It would be ecstatic, ripped out of its time, naked and heaving in the bright light onstage. There he stood, before an audience of twelve people, each one clutching pages of their own, each one of whom had spent the week the same way he did, filled with glory, and he was about to learn a lesson about himself in front of the last people on earth he wanted to know this -pretenders, sad nobodies and goofy excuses -and he shook at the podium like foil.
When You Love Someone There is always a catch in your throat. There is always a distance from them like they are leaving you, You cannot be with them without thinking of being without them Because we are designed that way, Because consciousness works like that.
There is always a sting collecting in the corner of your eye, they always seem perfect at that very moment, even though they are anything but.
They are nothing like you, they have properties you will never have, and this leap from you to them, across this yawning pit of difference, requires courage on your part, faith in the very unlikely.
You were a child inside the screen door hoping they would rescue you and they did, they saw you and reached out a hand, and invited you to join them in their amazing jitterbug.
I was good at flies and grounders. But during a game I tended to clutch, like I was in the spotlight, and everything depended on me enveloping the ball as casual as all get-out.
And all I had to do was catch a ball. It 's the 6th inning now, the final inning for our league. I am in left field, swatting my wonderful worn-in Billy Pierce glove.
Some kid hits a high fly. I look up and I am lost. I sort of see the ball, but not really. I time machine to thirty seconds from now, but it is a dark moment in history.
My friends are throwing their gloves in the dirt in disgust. No one talks to me on the way home. I get dizzy now, and I seem to be swimming in my uniform, The sleeves encompass me, the pantlegs trip me up.
The grass in left field seems a foot tall and loaded with grasshoppers. I turn my back to the ball and stumble to my knees.
And then I feel it. The ball landing in the hollow of the A one-handed, back-to-the-plate catch. I quickly put my other hand on the ball to hold it in, and struggle to my feet.
The umpire, an alcoholic like my dad, signals out. The kids on my team, who usually groan when the ball goes my way, leap into the air and shout yay.
I want to slow time down and tell everyone about each tick of the clock as I stood out there in the dying sunlight.
But good judgment overtakes me, and I keep my counsel. On the ride home, I announce from the back seat to my dad and brother, "Boy I was as surprised as anyone by that catch!
So I keep the game ball. And all the way home I toss it from one hand into the well-oiled pouch. Everyone admires that I am chic, he said, but no one respects my ferocity.
So the Poodle fashioned styrofoam inserts and placed them inside his floppy ears, causing them to stand up straight. Then the Poodle walked through the neighborhood with his ears standing up and his eyes almost closed with satisfaction.
But an American Bulldog, with a spiked collar, taking offense at the strange new dog, tackled him and bit him on the haunch.
The Poodle, having a soft palate, could mount no defense, and slumped away to lick his wounds. Oh, said the Poodle, if only I had appreciated my own best qualities, instead of trying to be something I am not!
I slid a CD in the crack and heard a crunch and the plastic pieces clogged the slot. It was a gift in from my daughter Daniele. She bought it with her barista tips, and had her friend Dirty install it for free.
Dirty real name Dave was not a professional installer, and he got the wires and fuses crossed, so the radio, while it worked great, caused the car to emit all sort of beeps and tones every time you turned the ignition key.
The sounds drove everyone crazy. Shutting the car door caused the beeping to stop. But otherwise the radio worked fine.
I set it on public radio most of the time, and played CDs from my collection, and music I remember enjoying with Daniele -the Pogues, the Cowboy Junkies, the Buzzcocks and more.
So when the machine died, five years after she died, it meant saying goodbye to another part of her. Can you then imagine my delight when I slid into the driver's seat at the installation center at Best Buy, to hear all those stupid beeps and tones again.
The Tissue Before she died, my mother lived with us for a year. She was sick from diabetes. Her feet were black and had no feeling, and there was little she still enjoyed in life.
But one day I caught her in the kitchen. She had dropped a wadded-up tissue on the floor and was struggling to bend over and pick it up.
Finally she scooted a chair beside it, stooped, and nabbed the bit of fluff. It all took about three minutes. Nothing worked for her any more, but she was damned if she would leave a Kleenex where everyone could see it.
The Life of Broken Glass Bits of clear and amber glass and metal collar in the street say something jarring happened here.
If you live in the city long enough you see the life of broken glass, beginning as a puddle on an empty space where a pipe caved in a driver's window or a bottle heaved on a rocky night.
And each car driving over the puddle spreads it apart like crackling dough until only a few bright nuggets catch the glint of streetlamp light. In an empty parking lot on Sunday morning you can see where the latest window was smashed, and here, and there, the fading remains of those broken earlier, like crystal snow on unmarked graves.
And when you pull up to an intersection after the players in an accident have headed for the wings, you see the glass and think of the jolt that lingers in the air, black tires grumble forward, holding their breath.
The New Yorker The breath of the woman crouched in a blanket in the gray slush flutes about her like a dying fire. She is wet and cold and has no place to go, and it is only early December.
Citizens stride by her, and their faces pronounce their opinions. Young professionals look everywhere but at her.
The state of the city is going to hell. Even the red hot vendor steers around her filthy yellow mittens, He is doing brisk business in the snow.
You want to stand the woman up, slap the sleet from her hair and send her on some invisible errand, put her to work on a phone bank or streetcorner, passing out coupons for gyros sandwiches, earning a few dollars, anything but this public suffering, so deadly and so close to Christmas.
But God has made her incompetent and us indifferent, except for one woman, in a camel hair hat, who passes, stops, fiddles with her pocketbook, tiptoes back and places a five in the paper cup.
Him with 91 bucks in his checking account at the hour of death. Unsure what value to put on his estate, the probate court put it at a single dollar.
But now the heirs are wrangling over the estate, who gets the royalties, who owns the rights to manuscripts, diaries, and all those thousands of letters.
One will after another is tossed out by the court. Family members sneak off to sell stuff of his they stole. An edition of Goethe.
Some cufflinks given him at graduation. Give it up, family, who never even knew the man. He needed this for so long … It's what he uses to get around now … It isn't very fast … The mileage is pathetic … But then he has all the gas in the world … He sits high in the seat … bouncing with every lurch … blue fumes pouring out around him … as he leans into the dirt ….
He wears a hard hat, safety glasses and his trademark corncob pipe, which he clenches with his smile, and you realize, God has really great teeth Everywhere the tread digs in … it stutters in the clay … but of course the earth surrenders to him, what choice does it have … and a wall of wet mud forms at the nudging of his blade All four are beautiful, but the oldest, perhaps 13, is different.
She walks flatfooted, open-mouthed, pulling at her mom. But when she reaches the check-in, she cocks her head and moans. The mother shows zero embarrassment, she does not hiss harsh words.
She holds her daughter back, with dignity and love. The other mother might weigh 85 pounds, and her son, 12, glances at the other passengers with a hostile scowl.
There is no mercy in his eyes. He too is small, a twig from her branch, and you can see he will never be big so he is learning to be a tough guy instead.
But now it's time for breakfast, and the twig-woman takes him by the hand and leads him off to McDonalds, and the tough customer looks up at her and beams.
A Monk at the Door One summer morning the doorbell woke me. When I opened the door, there was a man in a Tibetan robe, wearing Buddy Holly frames.
He was a chaplain from the Minneapolis Police Department. He read from a piece of paper in his hand. He told me that my daughter had been found dead in her room.
Then I had to tell my wife. It was August 18, Within moments of hearing my daughter was dead, God died, too.
I had put all my trust in his faithfulness. I knew we were on a journey, a journey I could not understand. But I trusted God to see us through.
I prayed every day for protection for Daniele, from the dangers that surrounded her life. And so God began to shrink, to collapse to a dot. I could see him disappearing into air.
I could hear his tiny voice calling out: The day of the funeral, a beautiful hawk perched on our backyard lines.
A dozen people looked up as it surveyed us, shrugged, and flew away over the garage. Sometimes in the fall, down by the river bluffs, I see eagles.
Always, a curious sensation that they are not just birds, they are messengers somehow. Here I am, they are saying. They were sick of my stories.
I sat and watched the satellite and I drank. Sometimes I was so angry I would argue all day with the people who no longer called.
Behind their backs I told them the truth to their faces. Spring came, the trees leafed out and blossomed. One day I heard a tapping in the dining room.
A robin had returned and flown in the back door, and now was leaping over and over again into the same sealed window.
The bird was frantic, afraid and exhausted. I fetched a plastic Walmart bag from the pantry and slipped it over the frightened bird.
As gently as I could I placed the bag on an open planter in the back yard. The bird sat paralyzed, unblinking, one wing cocked awry.
I left the bag and bird alone, and when I returned minutes later, the bag was empty And for the first time I found myself wondering about something … If God was truly gone And why has that color … the color of the embalmed body, but also the sign of surprise been everywhere I look?
The Wolf Shed Needing a roof on a windy night we came upon a shack above the logging zone. We tiptoed in the twilight, afraid someone was inside, and if so, what they might be.